For individuals with CPtsd, validation is a critical part of the healing journey, as it acknowledges the reality of their experiences and emotions. Without validation, survivors may feel misunderstood or unseen, deepening feelings of isolation and mistrust. In this post, we’ll explore six practical steps to increase validation in daily life, empowering those with CPtsd to feel more supported and connected in their recovery process.
This article was posted on our original blog at Healing from Complex ptsd, June 24th 2021.
Did you know there are different levels to being validated? Me either! I went researching and discovered how we can work it in with our different layers of healthy friendships and trust too!
Validation and Complex Ptsd
Did you know there are different levels to being validated? Me either! I went researching and discovered how we can work it in with our different layers of healthy friendships and trust too!
Feel welcome to take the infographics to your Certified Trauma Recovery Coach or Therapist and work through what they mean for you. Take a look at how you can implement different layers of validation into your daily. Think about what would they look like and do you need to work with some codependence?
Too often we go to validating someone from our internal self, our own safe space, then wonder why we're not safe. We truly do need to flesh these things out and work through what each level looks like in our individual life.
If we don't examine the concepts of different layers of trust, different layers of friendships, different layers of validation and consciously choose which layer a new person arriving in our life represents, we can repeat our behaviours . Often times our repeated behaviour includes trusting people until they show us they can't be trusted. A healthier relationship dynamic is to trust only when people have proved they can be trusted.
To Trust or Not to Trust
I went on an adventure to find questions we could ask in advance of deciding to trust someone. On the internet there are lots of questions for your partner, for your workplace, and I came across this one to ask in advance of trusting someone.
Because that really is the key to deciding a relationship is safe. We want to determine before we trust someone whether or not we can. The following questions will help you determine someone's trust quotient.
8 Questions to Ask About Whether to Trust
1. Is this person reliable? Consider your past encounters and how well the person has fulfilled commitments.
2. Is this person competent? Measure the demonstrated capabilities this person has about the subject matter.
3. Is this person predictable? Make educated guesses based on past experiences how the person will act.
4. Is this person consistent? Determine how steady the person has behaved or whether the behaviour has been erratic.
5. Does the person communicate clearly? Decide how well informed you are based on what has been shared with you.
6. How well do you know the person? Decide the depth and breadth of your knowledge about this person.
7. What is your power in relation to this person? Identify the amount of leverage you have as with more power, more leverage.
8. Does this person "have your back?" Determine how much this person will be on your side to support you when there are challenges along the way.
With thanks to Inc.com for the great list to ask in advance of trusting another person.
Effective. | Trauma. | Recovery. | Found Here.
Learn more about complex trauma recovery coaching with Linda. For those taking a proactive approach to recovery and needing answers to help heal their whole self.
This short self-check is educational only. It does not diagnose trauma.
If you feel triggered or overwhelmed, please pause and reach out to your local supports.
Developmental Trauma Self-Check
Over the past 12 months, how many and how often have you noticed:
I work hard to hold it together in public, then crash in private.
I struggle to name what I feel until it overloads me.
I say yes to keep the peace, then feel resentful or empty.
I feel loyal to people who do not treat me well.
I lose time or feel foggy when stressed.
I avoid closeness or over-attach quickly, then panic.
I find it hard to trust my own judgement.
I feel shame when I try to set boundaries.
I need external approval to feel steady.
I push through fatigue instead of pausing.
How to use this: 0–3 items often: you may be using a few survival patterns. 4–7 items often: consider paced support to rebuild safety and choice. 8–10 items often: a trauma-trained professional can help you restore stability and connection.
By completing this self-check, you understand it is for educational reflection only, not assessment or therapy.
Brain Impact Self-Check
This self-check explores how developmental trauma can affect daily brain function.
No personal details are stored. Please read at your own pace.
Over the past 12 months, how often have you noticed:
My mind jumps to what could go wrong, even in safe moments.
I find it hard to remember recent details when I am stressed.
Decisions feel risky, so I delay or avoid them.
I forget good experiences quickly and dwell on the bad.
I feel numb or overwhelmed, with little in-between.
I lose words when emotions rise.
I misread neutral faces or tones as negative.
I struggle to notice body signals like hunger, tension or breath.
I do better when someone I trust is nearby.
I feel different “versions” of me in different settings.
How to use this:
0–3 often: some protective habits; gentle self-care may help.
4–7 often: consider trauma-trained coaching to build daily brain skills.
8–10 often: a paced, brain-based plan can restore clarity, memory and confidence.
These reflections align with NeuroSynqt™’s brain-based, experiential process — a framework that supports identity repair, clarity, and sustainable recovery.
Your practitioner may use validated questionnaires.
For formal assessment, use recognised measures:
ACE-IQ or ACE-10 for adversity history (education only on public pages).
ITQ (International Trauma Questionnaire) for ICD-11 PTSD/Complex PTSD.
DERS for emotion regulation, DES-II for dissociation, PCL-5 for PTSD symptoms.
PHQ-9, GAD-7 for mood and anxiety; OSSS-3 for social support.
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