Short & Sweet: Healing from a Breakdown
This article was posted on our original blog at Healing from Complex ptsd, May 26th 2021.
SO WHAT DOES HEALING FROM A BREAKDOWN LOOK LIKE?
It's very different for everyone of course and the journey is a mishmash of various aspects of healthier choices (e.g. getting better sleep, eating healthier, getting exercise), dealing with the underlying trauma (e,g, therapy, education, practicing adaptive coping mechanisms), and healing the nervous system (e.g. learning new ways to speak to yourself, finding joyous moments, mindfulness like qigong or meditation).
For many, medication might be necessary too. Checking for underlying physical health issues is extremely helpful.
And most importantly, just not having any judgment or criticism for a while until you can learn not to interpret all of it as personal attacks to the core of who you are. This isn't always easy, as a lot of it is how you see the world. And when you are in the midst of a breakdown, the world is a very scary place. (In some cases, you are legit in a bad situation beyond your control. In which case, get help!)

GETTING THROUGH THE HARD STUFF
Most of all, there is a lot of noticing that you're not doing what you are 'supposed' to be doing, but learning how to not turn that into a self-bashing session that lasts for weeks. It's being compassionate with yourself by understanding that it's not something you are intentionally doing. It's just that your nervous system got wired that way. No blame, no shame, no guilt. That was super important for me. As long as I was around people who reminded me how *not great* I was, my brain would interpret it as reasons to beat my ego into the ground.
The work isn't hard because of things we would traditionally think of as work, it's hard because it's mostly made up of things we don't even know about ourselves or have wired to do it completely in a way that is messing us up.

IT'S ABOUT HOPE AND FAITH
The secret for me seems to be to be totally curious about what is going on, and being aware of what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and how it's impacting my behaviour. Hard to do when you're being triggered multiple times a day. It's exhausting work. But being curious beats overwhelming feelings of helplessness and anger.

THE TURNING POINT
So. This is one such moment.
I got a long board. I've tried said long board for the first time this evening. I'm not very good on my long board. Yet. I can balance on it and I can go a few feet. I'm still afraid of speed, but ultimately... I DON'T CARE.
I don't care if people on my street think I'm crazy. I don't care if 51 seems like an odd age to take up the long board. I don't even care if I stop trying to get better after a few efforts. I have no goal, no pressure, no worry about judgment or failure. I cannot fail. I can only get a bit better each time I get on it. That's it. It's purely about having fun with it.
This is a milestone for me.
I'm not used to doing something with zero practical value and have nearly no hope of ever getting good enough at it to, say, use it as transportation to work.
Do you have something you're doing where you have no idea if you will ever get good at it?
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Developmental Trauma Self-Check
Over the past 12 months, how many and how often have you noticed:
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I work hard to hold it together in public, then crash in private.
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I struggle to name what I feel until it overloads me.
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I say yes to keep the peace, then feel resentful or empty.
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I feel loyal to people who do not treat me well.
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I lose time or feel foggy when stressed.
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I avoid closeness or over-attach quickly, then panic.
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I find it hard to trust my own judgement.
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I feel shame when I try to set boundaries.
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I need external approval to feel steady.
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I push through fatigue instead of pausing.
How to use this:
0–3 items often: you may be using a few survival patterns.
4–7 items often: consider paced support to rebuild safety and choice.
8–10 items often: a trauma-trained professional can help you restore stability and connection.
Brain Impact Self-Check
Over the past 12 months, how often have you noticed:
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My mind jumps to what could go wrong, even in safe moments.
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I find it hard to remember recent details when I am stressed.
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Decisions feel risky, so I delay or avoid them.
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I forget good experiences quickly and dwell on the bad.
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I feel numb or overwhelmed, with little in-between.
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I lose words when emotions rise.
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I misread neutral faces or tones as negative.
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I struggle to notice body signals like hunger, tension or breath.
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I do better when someone I trust is nearby.
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I feel different “versions” of me in different settings.
How to use this:
0–3 often: some protective habits; gentle self-care may help.
4–7 often: consider trauma-trained coaching to build daily brain skills.
8–10 often: a paced, brain-based plan can restore clarity, memory and confidence.
For formal assessment, use recognised measures:
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ACE-IQ or ACE-10 for adversity history (education only on public pages).
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ITQ (International Trauma Questionnaire) for ICD-11 PTSD/Complex PTSD.
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DERS for emotion regulation, DES-II for dissociation, PCL-5 for PTSD symptoms.
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PHQ-9, GAD-7 for mood and anxiety; OSSS-3 for social support.
